I know, I know…not traditional…most people make snow angels or snowmen when winter blesses them with their 60th inch of snow for the winter. (The latest storm last night dumped about 19in on me.)
I’m bucking tradition though…no snow angels for me. (I doubt I could climb the 60inches of snow to leave an impression anyway!) I’ll be working on my Snow Letters:
Dear snow-blowing maintenance man:
You have no idea how much I appreciate your efforts to clear the sidewalks of my apartment complex! Your zealousness can not go unnoticed as you run the snow-blower under my window once an hour all night in an effort to keep up with the snow. The good news is that by 5am, I was so exhausted from lack of sleep that I barely stirred as you made your last round. I do however have one tip for you: Please direct the snow to the area of lawn between the building and the sidewalk rather than sending all of the snow toward the parking lot and the hoods of our cars. My car is now buried from the front of the hood to the backs of the front tires in a snow bank of your making. And I am so tired and cranky from lack of sleep that the extra hour of shoveling feels like 3 hours.
Dear early bird snow-shoveling neighbor:
Congratulations at being up at the crack of dawn to dig your car out. Kudos to you for making it to work on time today. Believe it or not though, I actually wanted to get to work myself today. Imagine my concern when I finally managed to scramble face first over the 6ft snow bank between the apartment building and the parking lot only to discover that the 8ft x 8ft area behind my car which I need to shovel in order to get to the plowed section of the drive had magically increased from 1.5 ft in height to 3 ft in height. Ironically the space behind your car barely had a dusting of snow!! How clever of you to find a close and convenient place to dump all your snow. Thank you so much for making my shoveling take twice as long…I’m sure you knew that I needed the exercise and were only thinking of my best interests.
Dear flirting with snow neighbor:
I am a woman and in most instances, I never fail to appreciate a little harmless flirting. However, while my hair is hanging in my eyes and the sweat dripping off my back… while I try desperately to unbury my car so that I might make it in to work—not the best time to try to start up a conversation. You would have done a lot better for yourself (had I actually been single anyway…)if you’d taken that shovel you were leaning on and started to help me dig out rather than simply using it as a prop for your snow stories. My apologies if you were offended when I turned my back, ignored you, and kept shoveling. Apparently you got the hint because when I turned round again you were gone.
Dear snow shovel borrowing neighbor:
We live in the Northeast—we get snow—and lots of it. This is the 4th storm so far this winter. When are you going to buy your own freaking shovel??!! I swear I am a very generous person…I’ll give most people the shirt off my back (as long as I’m wearing an undershirt.) What would possess you to interrupt my shoveling to ask to borrow my shovel??!! Can’t you see that I’ve barely begun?? That I have frost bite on my nose from climbing mount Everest to get to my car! That I’ll be lucky to get my front tires out by next Wednesday!! That the lovely neighbor next door magically transferred all of his snow to my space!!! Whatever-here’s the freaking shovel…I’m not making it in to work today anyway…
How are all of you who live in the Northeast dealing with the snow? And for those of you who don’t – want to swap places with me??